we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
