I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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