she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
