Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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