I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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