Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
