it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
