My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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