we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
