Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
