Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He shit in the fireplace
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
