Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
