It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
