Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Two words: blizzard sex
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
