At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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