he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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