Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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