how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
