i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
