Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
