dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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