are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
