It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
