Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I am one with the molecules
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
