So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Someone signed my nipple.
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