i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
