Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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