Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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