That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
