I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
