the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
