So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
