Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
