It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
