So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
