Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
