I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
