Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
