an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
