He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
