Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
