Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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