He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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