do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
