it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
When did angry sex become our thing?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
