It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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