You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
