He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
