Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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