Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
